Most students assume that revision is a question of removing grammar mistakes or correcting spelling errors. A few adventurous students may recast a sentence, reversing the order of words to add variety to their writing like advertisers designing a new corn flakes box.

While variety, like a fresh coat of paint, can dress up an old house, revision goes deeper. Writers revise to discover meaning not pretty it. And as they discover what they are trying to say, they learn how to say it. This, of course, means that the first draft is only that, a beginning in the search for meaning. Peter F. Drucker refers to it as "the zero draft" (Murray 68). That's not to lessen its importance. Until writers commit themselves to paper and ink, all they have are ideas.

The worst part about revision is that it hurts. Writing must come from the heart, and revision is a writer's willingness to suffer, to admit his or her inabilities and faults so the writer can move on. In fact, writing sometimes falters the most just at the point where it has the most to say (Murray 90).

Each writer must find his or her own path to revision. Some find it best to rough out an entire draft without stopping and then go back and tear it apart for the best parts to use in the next draft. Others move sentence by sentence, teasing the words, fussing over them, working to make each line perfect before moving on. Each approach has its advantages and disadvantages, and sometimes students may find themselves shifting back and forth between the two from assignment to assignment (Reed 28-37).

Donald Murray suggests three kinds of reading as writers struggle toward meaning: reading for focus, form, and voice.

FOCUS

"Read the text as fast as possible, . . .pen capped, trying to see it from a distance" (Murray 91).

Reading for focus means reading for the one meaning that is struggling to express itself in the text. Murray suggests writers quickly read a draft, trying to see it the way a reader will. The aim at this stage is to make the words as clear as possible, to avoid rabbit trails and stick to the point, to say enough but not too much (Murray 91).

  1. What is the point? What one thing is the writer trying to say, his/her reason for writing?
  2. Is something missing, something you need to know in order to understand what's going on?
  3. Are there any rabbit trails, places where the writer seems to wander away from his main idea or ramble on about some related topic or idea?
  4. Does the writing flow smoothly from beginning to end or are there places where the reader's mind wanders or loses the thread of the writing?

FORM

Next Murray suggests reading the draft more slowly, a bite at a time, looking for "chunks of meaning." As we read for form, we ask ourselves if the introduction, illustrations, examples, arguments and conclusion do the job or are simply ornamentation, included because we think we ought to include them, and not because we need them to make the writing clear (Murray 91).

"Read the text again, a bit more slowly, . . .trying to look at the text as a sequence of chunks of writing, perhaps chunks of meaning, . . .trying to keep . . .free of the concern with detail" (92-93)

  1. Is the lead catchy? Does it give a clear indication of what the essay is going to be about?
  2. Does the writing show or just tell? Does the writer use imagery, dialogue, or description to make the reader "see" (with all the senses)?

    3. "I do not want the reader to be impressed with my writing, my arrogance is greater than that; I want the reader to receive the evidence in such a direct fashion that it will cause the reader to think the way I want the reader to think. I want to show so effectively the reader sees my meaning as inevitable" (92).

  3. Does the writing have this kind of inevitability?
  4. Is the end satisfying (have a sense of closure)? Does the conclusion "echo the lead and fulfill its promise?" (93).

VOICE

"Read the text slowly, line by line, usually . . .many times, . . .working from . . . paragraphs to sentences to phrases to single words" (93).

Finally, Murray suggests that writers should read paragraph by paragraph, sentence by sentence, line by line, word by word. At this stage it often helps to read a draft aloud to see if it sounds like one person speaking. Reading aloud also helps a writer find the places where the writing starts to slip away. If writers stumble over a word or phrase in their draft, if they find themselves out of breath, or lose their place, then their writing still needs work. This is also the time to focus on grammar and spelling, recognizing that grammar and spelling errors confuse meaning and weaken expression. In writing for voice, writers put the finishing touches to their work, striving to make it "simple, clear, graceful, accurate and fair" (Murray 93, 94).

  1. Unity: Does the writing sound like "one person talking to one person?" While writing is not conversation, "effective writing should be conversational. Sometimes the conversation is more formal than others, but it should never be stuffy, pretentious, or incapable of being read aloud" (93).
  2. Order: Is the order in which each paragraph is presented most effective for presenting the writer's meaning (2-3-1 principle)? Are most of the sentences subject-verb-object sentences?
  3. Clarity: Is there clutter, excess words, phrases or sentences, that aren't needed or get in the way? Are there too many weak subjects and verbs or an overdependence on adverbs and adjectives?

Common clutter that can be eliminated