Handling Stress

Failure

The first thing we need to realize is that no one is perfect. We should not set impossibly high standards for ourselves. Also, we have to learn to forgive ourselves when we do not reach the standards set for us. Everyone fails, and failure is often the path to growth. No one learns to roller skate without falling down.

Body Image

Secondly, we need to accept our physical bodies. There is no perfect body, and standards of physical beauty have changed often over the years. While we should be concerned about maintaining good health, we should not become obsessed about extra weight around the middle or on our thighs. We also must learn to accept our physical features as they are. Who we are is determined by our character not by any accident of physical form. Too many people in our culture have allowed themselves to be "bullied" by present-day obsessions about appearance. If body issues are related to health issues, work on improving your health through exercise and proper nutrition.

Assertiveness

While we cannot control how people treat us or what they say to us, we can control our ultimate responses. When someone says something hurtful to us, we should not repress our feelings or pretend that what was said was not hurtful. Instead we should act assertively, responding calmly but firmly to any attacks on our person. If hurtful things are said to us in response to something we have done, we should apologize for our behavior and try to do better. But we also need to forgive ourselves for our faults. No one is perfect.

Health

Finally, we can control our diet and exercise. Our culture is steeped in stimulants. American's drugs of choice seem to be caffeine, sugar, and nicotine. All of these chemicals affect our bodies. We also need to watch our schedules and avoid overextending ourselves. It is particularly easy for students to do this when they are taking classes, working, and taking care of a family. Ultimately, the stress of overextending ourselves has consequences: emotional consequences including frustration and depression, mental consequences including reduced ability to learn, and physical consequences that may result in a heightened susceptibility to diseases or my even include stress-induced illnesses such as heart disease.

General Techniques

• Try to understand the causes of your anxiety.
• Learn how to study and prepare for tests (see the various learning resouces available on this web site).
• Learn specific test taking skills and strategies.
• Tell yourself positive, reaffirming statements to build your confidence.
• "I can learn anything if I study long enough and well enough."
• "Nothing is impossible if I'm willing to work to get it."

Quick Stress Relief

If during an exam or at some other time, you feel stressed, take a deep breath and sit with your feet flat on the floor, hands resting flat on the desk, chair arm, or dangling loosely. Close your eyes abd sit quietly while letting your mind go blank for one minute. Then let your arms dangle loosely at your side, take a deep breath, and yawn. As you do, imagine the stress dripping off your fingers and falling to the floor.

Other Stress Relieving Methods

• Meditating or praying
• Exercising
• Using fidget toys like squeeze balls, spinners, or smooth stones
• Reading for pleasure
• Listening to music
• Using essential oil diffusers
• Engaging in a favorite activity
• Talking to a counselor or trusted individual
• Including a more healthy diet
• Reducing the use of stimulants like caffeine
• Walking
• Listening to a comedian or watching a comedy
• Practicing assertiveness about needs
• Getting enough sleep
• Writing in a journal